Great piece, given me lots to think about. I decided to use a pen name for my writing because I want to be unrecognisable to my physical world and people I know in person. By making myself unrecognisable I feel like I have more freedom to be truly open, honest and authentic in my writing.
How interesting. In that way, it sounds like you’ve left your core self alone and devised an alternative self to give you the space and freedom to act differently. Almost like an experimental second self.
I wonder if a major piece of not wanting to be recognized is the fear of being seen? If so, this is a really cool look into something I think about often but in a totally different way than I've ever explored it before. Thank you!
A very interesting thought. The unrecognizable self becomes a mask that shields the underlying self from judgment and criticism. A protective mechanism, in a way, but perhaps another form of escapism?
I really enjoyed this piece. It’s interesting because like you said the capacity to be unrecognizable in humans is innate. We are all capable of moving beyond the confines of our own minds and society’s expectations with work.
This part stood out: “When the work required to become a “new person” looks too daunting, we take refuge in the comfort of a manufactured world that pulls us out of ourselves nonetheless.”
I had a coworker once who said a cigarette is cheaper than therapy and works faster too.
I had not a God damn thing to say in response. She’s correct, partially, anyway.
And I like the idea that self-transformation and transcendence is innate. No performance needed. Just contemplation, goals, mindset adjustments, action. It’s only a matter of time.
Thank you for reading and sharing my work — means the world 🤍
I also confess to being a transformation junkie. I've turned over enough new leaves to create a forest. I like the phrase, "the performing self." That is the one that gets me in trouble, performing for the audience but not really in touch with who I am. I am beginning to think that a congruent self is formed as we inhabit the present moment, instead of always looking to the future. I am living how I want right now, doing what I love with the people I love? Or am I looking at my future ideal self and judging who I am right now?
I think the term "congruent self" goes back to Carl Rogers. Does our self-image mirror our actual lived self? He believed that bringing the self into congruency led to self-actualization. I think Rogers would say the "performing self" creates distress because it is always looking for external validation. It can't find inner congruency because it is always turning to the outside gaze, which keeps widening the gap away from the actual self. Thanks again for the article.
There is some astute commentary here, well-supported with examples and quotes. As everything does, phenomena such as what you've mentioned boil down to the fact the fact that humans live in an absurd world! When we seek meaning and the universe does not respond, then all that is left is to try to find it ourselves. And fallible as we are, we turn to things like the self-improvement culture you've written about desperately in search of it.
I really enjoy the way you phrase things. It's just poetic enough to be beautiful, but not poetic enough to be unclear. "Dutifully recognizable," "the confines of those loose but cherished identities."
What a wonderful compliment — thank you. That’s exactly what I hope to convey.
Thank you for reading 🤍
Great piece, given me lots to think about. I decided to use a pen name for my writing because I want to be unrecognisable to my physical world and people I know in person. By making myself unrecognisable I feel like I have more freedom to be truly open, honest and authentic in my writing.
How interesting. In that way, it sounds like you’ve left your core self alone and devised an alternative self to give you the space and freedom to act differently. Almost like an experimental second self.
A fascinating approach — thanks for reading 😊
I wonder if a major piece of not wanting to be recognized is the fear of being seen? If so, this is a really cool look into something I think about often but in a totally different way than I've ever explored it before. Thank you!
A very interesting thought. The unrecognizable self becomes a mask that shields the underlying self from judgment and criticism. A protective mechanism, in a way, but perhaps another form of escapism?
Thank you for reading 😊
I really enjoyed this piece. It’s interesting because like you said the capacity to be unrecognizable in humans is innate. We are all capable of moving beyond the confines of our own minds and society’s expectations with work.
This part stood out: “When the work required to become a “new person” looks too daunting, we take refuge in the comfort of a manufactured world that pulls us out of ourselves nonetheless.”
I had a coworker once who said a cigarette is cheaper than therapy and works faster too.
I had not a God damn thing to say in response. She’s correct, partially, anyway.
I’m so glad it resonated.
And I like the idea that self-transformation and transcendence is innate. No performance needed. Just contemplation, goals, mindset adjustments, action. It’s only a matter of time.
Thank you for reading and sharing my work — means the world 🤍
I also confess to being a transformation junkie. I've turned over enough new leaves to create a forest. I like the phrase, "the performing self." That is the one that gets me in trouble, performing for the audience but not really in touch with who I am. I am beginning to think that a congruent self is formed as we inhabit the present moment, instead of always looking to the future. I am living how I want right now, doing what I love with the people I love? Or am I looking at my future ideal self and judging who I am right now?
Ah, what a nice term: the congruent self. It sounds so content and healthy and focused. Such an antidote to the performing self.
Thank you for reading and keeping the conversation going 🩵
I think the term "congruent self" goes back to Carl Rogers. Does our self-image mirror our actual lived self? He believed that bringing the self into congruency led to self-actualization. I think Rogers would say the "performing self" creates distress because it is always looking for external validation. It can't find inner congruency because it is always turning to the outside gaze, which keeps widening the gap away from the actual self. Thanks again for the article.
There is some astute commentary here, well-supported with examples and quotes. As everything does, phenomena such as what you've mentioned boil down to the fact the fact that humans live in an absurd world! When we seek meaning and the universe does not respond, then all that is left is to try to find it ourselves. And fallible as we are, we turn to things like the self-improvement culture you've written about desperately in search of it.
You’re right that there is such a vacuum, so much absurdity to contend with. We simply want to differentiate ourselves in a big, indifferent world.
Thank you so much for reading & sharing your thoughts 🤍
I am also large and I also contain multitudes.
I really enjoy the way you phrase things. It's just poetic enough to be beautiful, but not poetic enough to be unclear. "Dutifully recognizable," "the confines of those loose but cherished identities."
Nice piece.