11 Comments

Beautifully written! What you capture here is a conundrum I help my students navigate every year. It’s quite a journey, learning to stand above yourself to view processes from a meta-level of analysis while realizing you are still learning abt yourself nonetheless. I teach at a university with a pretty diverse student body so talking about cultural differences in self-systems is made all the more intriguing for students -learning how the tension between self and social roles differs across family and cultural units. Anyways: while I’m familiar with what you share I still very much enjoyed reading your exposition. Thanks.

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Ah, this is a great new perspective. It’s interesting to watch this tension play out for someone else, knowing that you’re still grappling with it yourself.

Thank you for reading & subscribing. Thrilled to have you here 🤍

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As always, another interesting article, I always learn something new from you, or at least a new way of seeing things.

Do you mean I'm not above-average special?!?! ;)

I really liked that sentence about not knowing what it feels like to be someone else. So obvious but when you ponder on it for a little while, it's so profound.

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What a compliment — thank you, Monica 💛

And yes, I was struck by that feeling the other day and knew that I needed to write about it. It’s so alienating to realize you only ever know what it is to be you …

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True, it's a bit alienating, and then it's not anymore once someone dissects the idea, writes about it and then multiple readers comment on it. 🙃

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Very interesting Rose and so true! We are so similar than different but different with our own way. Although we talk about accepting differences we can’t truly accept differences if one is too different. Thank you for sharing as always your articles are insightful 😊

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Thank you for the kind words, Bansi 😊

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Another great essay, Rose! (We seem to be thinking about similar topics quite often 😉)

There is definitely a tension between being an individual and being part of a group, and I think you are bang on when you write, "We want differentiation — but only within a very strict, socially acceptable realm. We want to be just a little bit better than our peers, not wholly different, not overly unlike our in-group of focus."

I hope you're right about the dwindling of tribalism and stereotyping, but (so far) I remain skeptical. True hope is stubborn, though...

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Thank you for the kind words!!

And I think I trust in the steady work of human progress enough to pull us out of our siloed existences — here’s hoping!

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The author’s exploration of individualism and its impact on society is thought-provoking, particularly in how deeply ingrained the pursuit of personal distinction is in certain cultures. However, I couldn’t help but notice that the discussion tends to fall into a binary framework, contrasting individualism with collectivism. This binary approach, while useful for simplifying complex ideas, may inadvertently limit our understanding.

It’s interesting to consider why we so often revert to binary thinking, even when our intentions are to offer more nuanced solutions. Perhaps this tendency is deeply rooted in how we’ve been conditioned to view the world—as a series of opposites. This mindset might prevent us from seeing the spectrum of possibilities that exist between these extremes.

In moving beyond binary thinking, we might open up new ways of understanding and addressing the challenges posed by both individualism and collectivism. Instead of seeing them as opposing forces, we could explore how they might coexist or complement each other, leading to more holistic solutions.

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The author’s exploration of individualism and its impact on society is thought-provoking, particularly in how deeply ingrained the pursuit of personal distinction is in certain cultures. However, I couldn’t help but notice that the discussion tends to fall into a binary framework, contrasting individualism with collectivism. This binary approach, while useful for simplifying complex ideas, may inadvertently limit our understanding.

It’s interesting to consider why we so often revert to binary thinking, even when our intentions are to offer more nuanced solutions. Perhaps this tendency is deeply rooted in how we’ve been conditioned to view the world—as a series of opposites. This mindset might prevent us from seeing the spectrum of possibilities that exist between these extremes.

In moving beyond binary thinking, we might open up new ways of understanding and addressing the challenges posed by both individualism and collectivism. Instead of seeing them as opposing forces, we could explore how they might coexist or complement each other, leading to more holistic solutions.

Expand full comment